Interactions

Online vs Real Life

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Recently I’ve read two bloggers posts about how upset they were over things that happened to them in their games they play. One is Pretty Little Sith and then today I read on Ravanel Griffon‘s blog about how her experience as well in a game. My response even though slightly similar and all, it was still vague, and well to be honest it sparked this topic. Now I know what some may say, and it’s just a video game, doesn’t mean anything. But for someone like myself  that has tried for years, and I mean literally years to make friends in real life. It is not easy sad to say. Real life is much more harder because as a child you grow up in a clique or whatever, then you move onto being an adult, but some kids don’t have the luxury of living a life like that. Some are considered outcasts from the jump because they look different, talk different, act different, or other issues. Home life sucks, etc. You name it ,and it’s just well harder to make and keep friends in real life. I’m not saying it’s any easier online because it’s not. With all of us involved in some sort of Social Media we make friends easier by the games we play, blogs we read, etc. Our interests are able to connect us not only to people in our area, but all over the world. I have friends across seas, Down under, etc. But my circle of friends is extremely small, because even online I still share some real life info, but still keep a lot of it hidden away from stalkers, and etc. I am what some call an Enigma because very little of my real life is out there. I talk about my partner, I talk about my pets, I’ve let out some real life past information like being something other than a survivor or a victim of abuse. I’ve told the story of how my birthday is strange to me, none of this I keep hidden, because it helps people understand me better, or at least so some have said. My circle of friends knows my name, where I truly live, etc. It’s just who I am. Making friends has always been my hardest thing because as one friend of mine from Second Life has brought up to me, I sound mad at times. I don’t try too, but its just how I type, or even talk. Before the end of last year I had met someone and was leveling up with them in SW:ToR only to have it stop all of a sudden. Am I hurt? Not really, most come online looking for something, and I didn’t give it to them. 

Feelings On or Off while Online?

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If someone said they no longer felt human, and did not care about those they had formed strong friendships with and only to watch them leave a video game, or whatever. They are trying to mask their hurt inside themselves. They don’t want people knowing that being online they let down their guard a little and let someone in. It’s easy to do it online because the expectations one has is really well minimal compared to real life. Like I said. I rarely have any friends in SW:ToR, I have a select few in second life as well. I’m not a social bug, I don’t like crowds, and I am just one of those people that well plays alone. I’ve been alone the majority of my life that it no longer bothers me not to have interactions with to many people. Plus for me. I don’t feel human, it’s hard for me to connect to someone because I keep myself guarded, and my emotions are hard to even provoke. Do I feel like I’ve been robbed? Sometimes, other times I just don’t give a flying (insert witty word here), other times I feel like I’m nothing more than a waiting one , watching everyone else have fun while I feel like I lack it all together. I do feel bad when others are hurting though, but it only lasts for so long before I just move onto whatever else in my head at the moment. But should we expect more online  than we do in real life? One would say yes, Another would say no, there is no right or wrong answer here. It is all based on how those around you feel. If the feeling is mutual then wonderful, it not. Well shit, I don’t know then.

 

What are we searching for?

That is a question I’ve been asked a time or two while I travel around online in virtual worlds, and etc. For some they come in looking for a relationship, others come in looking for nothing more than just friendships, and etc. Then there is me. I come online to kill time and nothing more. If I make a friend great, if not still great, doesn’t bother me to much because of how I am anymore. I prefer to keep myself locked away from all emotions because it’s easier to be dead inside, then to deal with the emotions.

 

TL:DR in short, Happy gaming Thursday . I’m tired and going to sleep for a few hours, hate sinus infections.

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