The beginning of October has not been a good one for me. First my mother lost her husband, who she spent a wonderful and not so wonderful 26 years with. They got married in 1997, and well they lost him on Oct 3rd, 2015 to a radiation pocket in his brain from Chemo and Radiation therapy for lung cancer. Odd though I did not cry when I got the news he died. I honestly felt nothing, probably because I had already known that this day would come for him and I braced myself for the worse of it all. I wasn’t close to him, and whatever, but I just did not cry when I received the news he had passed away. When I did cry was when I was called on the 5th and asked to go see my other dog.
This little girl here I got her back in 2006, she was 8 weeks old when she was given to me as an easter gift from my uncle who I ended up losing a year later due to Heartattack at age of 43, and my grandmother who died in Feb of 2010 to lung cancer. But when I left my mother’s house two years ago. I left her behind not because I wanted too, but because the landlord did not like Pitbulls. So my mother and her step grandson took care of her for the last two years. It wasn’t until about 6 months ago she developed a what we now know as breast cancer on her one nipple, the other vet they took her too said it was a benign tumor and if it didn’t bother her, not to bother with it. We all wished we had bothered with it now, so on Oct 5th, 2015 I spent 8 hours with her,and tried to be strong, but the moment I looked into her eyes, I seen the pain. She was never one to show anyone that she was in pain, guess that comes with her being a pitty and all, but still she couldn’t hide it from me, and was basically asking me to let her go. So I told them to call the vets, make the appointment and put her to sleep if nothing could be done to save her. She was 9 and half years old. She would have turned 10 on Feb 3,2016. So on Oct 7,2015 at 6pm est time she took her final breath. It was so peaceful to see her fall asleep and knowing she was not going to be in pain anymore. I believe she went to this place to wait for me, while being with her Mom and Dad and siblings she’s lost over the years.
This little girl has become something else to me. She will never replace Sammie, but she is loved so much and I treat her just like I did with Sammie, she is the princess in my eyes. I have learned one thing over the years with owning dogs, and that is their love is unconditional. They don’t care if I have no money, what I look like in the mornings, how I talk to people, etc. They just love me unconditionally. I cry off and on for Sammie, but when I look at Raven and she comes up and places her head on my shoulder and kisses away my tears, I know she’s telling me “It’s alright mommie, you’ll be with her again one day, but right now you have me, and I love you so much.” So while I had a strong excitement level for the new expac of SWTOR, it became nothing when losing a pet, who was so much more then a pet. She was my furbaby, my 4 legged daughter. For the last few days I log into SWTOR play a little, then end up logging off and going to spend time with Raven, and take her for long walks, or just cuddle with her in my lap as I am reading various things online and etc. But through this whole ordeal I’ve learned one thing, Dogs are truly man/woman’s best friend in the long run. They don’t judge, they don’t do anything but love you, and teach you how to be a human being. Odd that a dog could help teach a human what it is to be compassionate , and loving towards each other. So yeah while I am still waiting for the new expansion to drop , I’m mourning at the same time. It’s not hard having to put a beloved pet down and let them go, but I keep with me the memories I have with Sammie, how I had to control her on newspapers to get her to understand I was head bitch, and all. No one else could or would take my place in her heart. I was there from the beginning in her life as it started, and I am the one that gave her the final okay to go play on the rainbow bridge, and wait for the day I will join her. While now I have Raven, I know that when the time comes and I pass on from this life. I will be greeted by all the dog’s I’ve had over the years, and let me tell you that is a whole lot of dogs. They truly keep me sane in an insane society. They are my footing into the doors of humanity as well. When I could have closed off every emotion I have, they were the ones that taught me to love again. So please for those of us that are avid players, take a moment in your busy day if you have a pet, and give them a hug, and tell them you love them, because that is all they know how to do with you, and etc. Spend as much time as you can with your loved ones, regardless of human or animal, because we are never granted a tomorrow, just a today.
Thanks for reading this and happy gaming friday.