Is it really this hard?

So I’m over on yet another server where I have a maxed out legacy (Begeren Colony), and was doing some recording on a new Imperial Agent Trayvae , Yes yes, I know shocker, I would pick and use the same character name from my Agent over on the Ebon Hawk server. Anyways as I was starting the other half of recording, and etc., I get this PM asking if I was looking for a guild. Well yeah I am looking for a guild, but I just don’t want any guild. My time of hopping in and out of guilds is done. I want something causal, friendly , and so forth. I want to make sure I will fit in with the people there. I’m not being a jerk about it. Just given my track record with Guilds in SWTOR is well, not the greatest at all. So this person proceeds to tell me how they are 500+ and looking for new members, Great I think, right? Well okay I have to answer 3 questions before the invite will be sent. First question was doable. Having alts in their guild and make it my primary guild. Sure yeah, I don’t have a ton of alts on Imp side over there yet, but yeah I could do that. Second question comes and now this is the ultimate deal breaker for me. They ask if I can refrain from using profanity in gen guild chat, sure that’s no biggie, being nice to others, etc, again not an issue, but the major deal breaker for me, “Give respect to our senior officers” , now that there stopped me right in my tracks and caused me to respond with this, “Sorry but I am a firm believer that respect is earned and not demanded,  the moment you demand others to give respect then you lose footing. I am sorry, but I do not think your guild is suited for me.” I wasn’t disrespectful or anything, but I don’t care what a person has done in the game, if you demand respect from me, you won’t get it, sorry but I grew up respecting the ones older than me, but then it failed because once I got to know them, they didn’t deserve that respect, so I revoked it. I treat others how I want to be treated, and sometimes that is like the worse thing for me, because in the long run it turns out bad, but when you ask for respect from someone that doesn’t even know you, that just sends all kinds of red flags up to me. I’m sorry but that is how I am, and how I will always be. You can’t demand anything from me. It just doesn’t work. It’s got to be earned and earned by the actions a person does. I am a firm believer that actions speak louder than words.

I just can not wrap my head around people demanding respect from people they do not know. No matter how it was worded, it still came across as a demand. I am finally beginning to believe this is my curse in life. Not to be in a guild in SWTOR all cause so many do not understand you can’t demand certain things from people, everything has to be earned, at least it has to be with me. If you treat me good, I treat you good, but if you treat me like an ass, well I’ll just do one better, place you on ignore, and forget you even exist at all. I don’t deal with drama, and when I see questions like those, well it makes me sit back and wonder. But now that I also think about it, they were also spamming gen chat with their guild seeking, which to me says that with 500+ members, they are not doing that great as some have probably left the game with the drop of patch 5.0 and so forth. Yeah to me that makes even more sense. But oh well, my quest for a guild will still be going on. Just will be taking longer that I expected.

 

 

On the search yet again

So after a long hard thought and etc. last night I opted to leave the guild I was in , after a month I just couldn’t do it. It wasn’t for me. I want a causal friendly guild that wants to do all content, mostly Story stuff together, some PVP, and etc. My RP days in SWTOR have not been the greatest, and I really no longer care about RPing my character, yes I will create a back story for him, give out detailed information and such, but I won’t be RPing it to death like most want, or wanted me to do. I just want to do what most want to do now, have fun and be in a causal active friendly guild that does content, not get upset and rearrange a Stronghold when things start to look bleak. So I’m back to searching for the guild for me. Of course so many have told me to just make it, but that is where the problem lies for me. I don’t have friends in game that aren’t apart of a guild, and I honestly don’t know them all that well to ask for an invite to their guild.

I love being apart of something like I was, but in the long run when trying to rebuild something and everyone has a different vision of what it is they are looking for, it just doesn’t seem to fit right with anyone. Unlike the guild Trayvae helped Co-found, where everyone left ,and didn’t say a word, or was kicked by the GM because it wasn’t with people he wanted in the guild. So now I’m back on the search on the Ebon Hawk server to find my place in a good casual guild that just wants to have fun and play the game in all aspects. Whether it be Random Flashpoints, PVP, PVE stuff, or just overall goofing around. I am sure I will find my place one day in SWTOR but right now I’m also thinking of doing a let’s play video series for my YouTube channel as well, maybe by doing that I will find the people that want to create a fun , friendly guild where Alts will not be an issue. Only thing I ask if and when that day comes is to log into the alts once in a while. I know some will think of me being a tad picky, but in reality I’m not, I just want to find something to do in game with a lot of people and have fun doing so.

Even got myself some new guns for my healer as well. I am not deleting him, I plan on keeping him, and using him, just not sure where yet. Course each day I do log in and see what the CXP bonus for the day is with him, because before I jump into doing Star Fortresses and what not, I want the level 10 so when it’s  time to jump into the heroics of it , I can do that, plus I want to grind for more alliance crates by doing heroics and etc. I just want to have fun in the game, and while I do love some of the stories and what have you, I just crave more in game now. It’s the whole reason for me taking on different roles, and right now I just want to focus on being a healer, from a Merc down to a Sorc healer, sadly though there aren’t all that many specs for healing, when the time comes I plan on making a new trooper and making them into a healer, since I know that Mercs and Troopers are mirror classes, just like when I do the Operative Healer, I will be replaying through the Smuggler story as I know that is a Mirror class to Agent, and same with Sorc, I will make a healing Sage since I know that is yet another mirror class. I do love the fact that people all over our wonderful community takes the time to write guides for us that don’t know what most of what we’re doing.

 

I don’t want to do solo stuff anymore, yeah sometimes it’s fine, but let’s face it, in a game like SWTOR there is so many more options, and that is what I always thought the joy of being here was. I love the stories, but I also crave more. I don’t want to be that person that just keeps going on and on as a solo player. It gets boring, and lonely at times where I just log out, and go off into a solo style game like my driving simulators. Of course though if I can’t find a guild I like on the Ebon Hawk, I have other servers to try and find that perfect guild for me. The one that just lets us have fun within the game and not demand things. Role playing is not for everyone, and as I have stated in the past, and above. I am no longer really interested in it anymore. Oh well  the hunt will continue for a guild where I fit into it. Until then, happy gaming!!

So I’ve been told

I would hinder my team since I don’t use Grenades in PVP , and for Flashpoints as well. I know some people rely on them and use them like they use their abilities but is it wrong that I refuse to use them in PVP and Flashpoints. I mean I’m unlike some. If I want to know about a certain fight and what have you, I use YouTube to search for a video, or Google to find a written guide on it. I honestly have never used those in either PVP nor Flashpoints, and I find them pretty pathetic in my opinion. If you have to rely on things like that , then you’re really not learning how to use your class abilities and such. I can see if you’ve used all your defenses, and stuns and what not and that is the last thing you have on you, but I’m sorry I know healers put out some damage but our main goal is to keep everyone alive, and I have rarely if ever seen a healer use a damn cyber-tech grenade to help maintain an advantage. So now it has me thinking is this really the right place for me?

First he doesn’t like the gear I am wearing, nor does he like my choice in guns, all my ideas, and etc are being shot down. I get a room in the Guild SH, we had it decorated the way I wanted, more so the way he wanted, then he’d take it all down, and do something different, and ask my opinion on it. I’d tell him I liked it but in reality, I just didn’t care in all honesty. This last time though after busting his tail to get those new Asylum Tanks and Toxic barrels, and placing them in the lab which he moved from a small room to one of the larger rooms before hitting the balconies on the last floor, the lab was set up and I loved it, even said so. But because I logged early one night and he was in by himself, he removed everything and put it back in a smaller room and made it look more like a room to his desire. Then asked me “How do you like your new lab?” , again I told him I liked it.  Always trying to change my character it seems to fit in with his idea for a guild RP , which to be honest, not a lot want to do anymore, or they want well established guilds, and you know what, there is nothing wrong with that. Since Bioware removed the RP for a lot of servers, new players do not really know which server is RP and which isn’t anymore. So yeah that makes recruitment hard, but also it shouldn’t hinder people who do wanna RP either, but lastly it does anymore. Then again, I get to break it to him now that I no longer care about RP, I just wanna have fun playing the game in groups and having fun in general. Which will probably prompt me to be kicked out of the guild, and if that happens , then so be it. I keep trying. If not on Ebon Hawk, well then I move that legacy to another server with a lot more of my unlocks.

Then he’s going on and on about character cards, then complaining about the new Mandalorian Guilds popping up, and thinking its because of Mandalorian Gladiators is the reason for the new guilds. I honestly don’t think so, and no sense in trying to tell him that. I understand being a team player means well PVP/SF/FPs, and etc. But not everyone wants to do just those 3 things all the time. I can’t do more then a daily set of PVP, and SF well it’s a time killer, and good for CXP when it’s on the bonus days, but Black Talon FP????? Sorry I do it when I’m leveling up a new character for the XP before hitting Drumond Kaas but that is it. I don’t run it like I did when those deco drops were around. I ran it 11 times to get the Black Talon Deco drop. But since Deco drops have been nerfed so hard in FPs and such, I just don’t bother really running them unless I decide to farm for speeders to give away to players that are asking for them, because that is just how I am as a person. I have done that with stuff I have gotten from cartel packs and etc. that just doesn’t sale that well on the GTN, and new players are always  the most welcomed because they can’t afford the gear right away, or they take it and sale it on the GTN themselves, to earn some credits. Whatever they do with them once I do with them, I don’t really care. I try to be a nice and helpful person, and sometimes it works. Other times it just doesn’t. I won’t be judgmental, I am who I am, and I won’t change for anyone.

PVP,Group stuff, Over all fun in SWTOR finally!!

So yesterday I did the daily bonus for Galactic Command, and it was PVP, so our GM, our newest recruit and a friend of theirs joined us in a group, and we Que for PVP, now mind you I always said in the past that I wouldn’t be doing anymore PVP, but well things change, and I changed. I am getting into group content now. On days that Flashpoints are the Bonus, we run Black Talon a lot for our GMs one alt, he’s trying to achieve a higher social level and I’m all for that, so we run solo mode with those Jesus (Or God) Droids as they are called, which kind of lets me do some DPS damage, not much but some. But I do cleanse us both a lot. So now I am also Level 71 or 72 in Galactic Command now as well, and I have all 7 pieces of gear, most dropped from the Crates, but the last two pieces I was able to get with Unassembled Components and Command Tokens, which were the Boots and Body Armor, now mind you I am not really into the look for the gear, so I let it sit out, while I use the outfit Designer, and I plan on showing off some of the outfits Krumar Ordo wears in game. I have really changed this year, and I’m enjoying this side of SWTOR finally.

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This is something new for me, and I’m really finally enjoying it. Just like I did not think I would honestly love playing a healer spec, but I do. It’s something different for me, and now it has me wondering about trying my hand at tanking one day in the future as well. As you can see in the image up at the very top of this post. I did amazingly well as a healer in PVP, which to my surprise earned me a few MVP’s. I did manage to make some kills, only had one death myself as they ganged up on me and our GM and friends couldn’t peel them off me fast enough. Man they really do not like healers in PVP, and I can’t much blame them either. We do have a thing for trying to keep everyone alive in the matches. But yeah I’ve finally found a place in SWTOR where I’m comfortable, able to be myself and have fun doing so. No one has an issue with me being a woman that plays male characters. That makes it all more worth it to be honest. I won’t lie and say I didn’t know how I would be taken once I told the truth. But I won’t deny the fact that I am a female that games, and I enjoy the male voice actors more so on some characters then others. We even had a few death matches were we won all because I kept or at least tried to keep everyone alive, and we were able to win the matches and that made them really proud of me. Course I also had Blade sitting here cheering me on as well, even though he was quiet until after the matches so he didn’t break my concentration on keeping us all alive.  He’s being super supportive in all this as well. He was afraid that I would drop subscription and uninstall the game, but now that he’s seeing me doing other things, he’s proud of me for keeping at it. I know there are a lot of bad people in the game, but there are a lot of good people as well. I’ve noticed as well that sometimes it is not really the big guilds that will fit a person, but ones that are rebuilding, and are small are usually the best ones, especially for someone like me who has anxiety disorders. While I still do things as a solo player as well, but mostly I’m craving for group content now. I finally understand what everyone was saying in the past about being a team player, while yes SWTOR has a lot of solo content mainly the personal stories and etc, but it’s nice to group up, and go kick some arses from time to time too.

So also while doing some solo things, I leveled up my Nexu who I call “Shock” to influence level 50 and man let me tell you, he is a walking tank now, course that is the spec I put him in, all because with me being a healer, I needed to keep him alive while taking on the baddies in solo stuff from time to time, so that left me with another idea to level up another Cartel Companion so I opted to start leveling up my Mawvorr and get him up to level 50 and him I decided to name “Shadowstalker” I am even developing a story on how I acquired these beasts. Which will make for an interesting read once I am doing developing it. I am over all having fun now whether it be solo or in a group. Course next up for me is to get Bowdaar as a companion, but I am going to see if I can get some help for it since Chomper likes to chomp on me a lot. Course it may be different now that I’m in 230 gear, well minus the mods in my guns, which I need to upgrade soon to purple 230’s.

 

 

Poaching and Guilds

Recently I’ve been noticing a trend since I joined a new guild after leaving <Elite Imperial Vanguard>, the reason behind leaving that guild yet again was well, issues with ex GM and myself, but I won’t go there. Just that I left it and am no longer using Trayvae as a main at the moment. Instead I started a new Bounty Hunter and made him a healer. Which I’m finding to be a good spec to play. I also joined a new guild last month called <Mandalorian Gladiators>, The GM there and I hit it off really well, and I was accepted into the guild. So for the last month we’ve been trying to build this guild. For him it’s a rebuild, and for me it’s a new experience all together because I want to do more things now as a group, so for time being we group up when flashpoints are the Bonus in CXP, and etc. It’s been a lot of fun. I am also learning a lot more about Mandalorians as well. But lately every time we have recruited someone into our guild, a poacher from another guild will come and steal this person from us. All cause we’re not a high end game type of guild ,and our real lives take priority over the game itself. Now up until I decided to join this guild, I had never heard of poachers for guilds, but recently I’ve been witnessed to it, as he had a stalker from another guild show up where ever he was, and would follow him all over the place.He was able to get that person to stop and we have a truce with them for now. But we’ll see how far that goes.

No one had contacted me or tried to talk me into joining their guild until the other day. I am guessing this person thought because I was online, and they didn’t even search for him, even though if you typed in “Gladiators” into the search, it showed us both online, well this person thought she would be slick and try to talk to me into leaving the guild I’m in now, and join theirs. But here’s the thing, I screen shot the whole conversation, and I was in guild chat with him letting him know what was going on, then copy and pasted this persons name to him. As he was talking to them, she went silent on my end of the conversation which is par for the course. As we were talking in guild chat, he said she tried to claim she was just interested in having a RP session, and etc. But of course like I told him it was basically a lie because she was asking me questions about our guild, if we were set on rebuilding and etc. So yeah him and I both came to the conclusion that she was trying to poach me for her guild.

Leadership and Class Spec

Since the time I joined this guild I have learned a lot more. I am learning to become a leader, when we go out for for flashpoints and etc. I am learning to sit back and be a healer while he tries to protect me and all. That’s good. I have a level 70 Bounty Hunter, who is responsible. This is the first time I have really taken to being a healer very serious. During the Gree event, he took me into the area even though we were in a PVP open area, we didn’t get bothered, but still with just him and I we went into the open area to do the heroic. He took a lot of damage while I kept him healed and cleansed free from the debuffs that happen. Then we did Mandalorian Raiders Flashpoint were I kept him healed, along with our companions as well. We had a successful run with just us, and I again amazed myself at how much technique is really required for healing. I am so use to playing DPS that I am now learning to fall back, and keeping an eye on health bars, I still have a long way to go, but I am learning and that is the best thing about this. I am willing to learn, and work forward on that. My next thing I want to do is PVP to get Pierce from my mission log. And I know if it’s during the CXP Bonus, we’ll group up and join a PVP match here and there. I am really enjoying this side of me. While I do love my DPS , I am learning to love being a healer too. Just wish there were more classes that allowed for healing, but I’m happy playing Bodyguard to heal everyone that needs it.  I also know that I may ask him for help on the EC all cause well Chomper just chomps me to deal and my Nexu is max 50 influence, and he’s a beast for sure. But I couldn’t get past Chomper at all, so I may ask for his help , to get Bowdaar into my alliance, then we were talking about teaming up to do Star Fortress Heroics/Flashpoints for Decorations for the guild (if they still drop) I haven’t gotten to do that yet. I may see if he wants to team up for some Rakghoul dailies when that event comes around, I am really learning to become a team player.