Is it really this hard?

So I’m over on yet another server where I have a maxed out legacy (Begeren Colony), and was doing some recording on a new Imperial Agent Trayvae , Yes yes, I know shocker, I would pick and use the same character name from my Agent over on the Ebon Hawk server. Anyways as I was starting the other half of recording, and etc., I get this PM asking if I was looking for a guild. Well yeah I am looking for a guild, but I just don’t want any guild. My time of hopping in and out of guilds is done. I want something causal, friendly , and so forth. I want to make sure I will fit in with the people there. I’m not being a jerk about it. Just given my track record with Guilds in SWTOR is well, not the greatest at all. So this person proceeds to tell me how they are 500+ and looking for new members, Great I think, right? Well okay I have to answer 3 questions before the invite will be sent. First question was doable. Having alts in their guild and make it my primary guild. Sure yeah, I don’t have a ton of alts on Imp side over there yet, but yeah I could do that. Second question comes and now this is the ultimate deal breaker for me. They ask if I can refrain from using profanity in gen guild chat, sure that’s no biggie, being nice to others, etc, again not an issue, but the major deal breaker for me, “Give respect to our senior officers” , now that there stopped me right in my tracks and caused me to respond with this, “Sorry but I am a firm believer that respect is earned and not demanded,  the moment you demand others to give respect then you lose footing. I am sorry, but I do not think your guild is suited for me.” I wasn’t disrespectful or anything, but I don’t care what a person has done in the game, if you demand respect from me, you won’t get it, sorry but I grew up respecting the ones older than me, but then it failed because once I got to know them, they didn’t deserve that respect, so I revoked it. I treat others how I want to be treated, and sometimes that is like the worse thing for me, because in the long run it turns out bad, but when you ask for respect from someone that doesn’t even know you, that just sends all kinds of red flags up to me. I’m sorry but that is how I am, and how I will always be. You can’t demand anything from me. It just doesn’t work. It’s got to be earned and earned by the actions a person does. I am a firm believer that actions speak louder than words.

I just can not wrap my head around people demanding respect from people they do not know. No matter how it was worded, it still came across as a demand. I am finally beginning to believe this is my curse in life. Not to be in a guild in SWTOR all cause so many do not understand you can’t demand certain things from people, everything has to be earned, at least it has to be with me. If you treat me good, I treat you good, but if you treat me like an ass, well I’ll just do one better, place you on ignore, and forget you even exist at all. I don’t deal with drama, and when I see questions like those, well it makes me sit back and wonder. But now that I also think about it, they were also spamming gen chat with their guild seeking, which to me says that with 500+ members, they are not doing that great as some have probably left the game with the drop of patch 5.0 and so forth. Yeah to me that makes even more sense. But oh well, my quest for a guild will still be going on. Just will be taking longer that I expected.

 

 

How I got my start in SWTOR

So today I finally decided to write a blog post that will explain how I got into Star Wars: The Old Republic, and how over the last few years it’s become a game that I have enjoyed a lot. Like I have told a few in the past. I came from a Virtual Chat world called Second Life. As I was hanging out with a few friends in there, we were talking about video games and how Second Life was becoming a bore for me, I only really stayed in there for the fact that I use to DJ, I owned a shop (Still do), plus I was role playing a lot as a vampire, then in another system I became what they called a Hybrid (Lycan/Vampire), and I had a lot of fun doing it , but it was becoming trouble some for me, all because I didn’t always get along with others in the clans/hordes, and etc. So eventually I just stopped Role-playing, and opted to become a DJ where I would entertain the masses, and play some wicked music for everyone to dance too. I really enjoyed it, but when I started to get burned out. I retired from it. At one time I was DJing 7 days a week, My Role playing wasn’t just Vampire either, it was also in a world called Gor which is short for Gorean. I allowed myself to become a slave which wasn’t hard for me, as it’s part of my personality in real life as well, but no one really knows that. I tend to want to please others, and say hell with what I want, which after so long I opted to not do that anymore and now I focus on what I want and what have you, and put everyone else 2nd after taking care of myself. I still have my premium account for Second Life and I won’t give that up for anyone or anything. That is a place that I still hold dear to me, because I do have friends there that I go and visit from time to time, but we talk mostly on Facebook, and other means.

So this image I am sure everyone has seen a time or two is my main avatar in Second Life. I have recently changed her look, and I’m not sure if I am keeping it or not. But anyways I was hanging out one night and a friend of mine told me about Star Wars: The Old Republic. He told me he was playing it as he was hanging out with us in Second Life. Well this intrigued me, so I asked him all about it, like the questions, “Do I have to pay for it?”, if so How much? , what can you do in there, etc. I wasn’t really all that familiar with MMORPGs online, and such, hell my most extensive experience with MMOs was well WoW  (World of Warcraft), and that just didn’t seem to fit me, but being a huge Star Wars fan I was interested in this one. So I went over to the website and signed up for it. Didn’t take me long to drop cash into SWTOR and become a preferred player which I remained one for a good while too. Then as him and I were playing, we got into an argument because I wanted to do my class story and not help him out with his. Which was par for the course for me, I wanted to do things on my own, learn the class I was using, and etc. and he was having none of that, so he logged out and that was the last time I saw him in game too. Course this was on the Shadowlands server, so I decided to just keep playing for a while, then when I got so far into the game I think around Chapter 3 on some classes, I just opted to quit playing and delete the game. It wasn’t fun without friends in the game, so I went back to Second Life, and started Djing again, and I was going 7 days a week. Sometimes 2 shows on the weekends , by that I mean I’d Dj in one club, then later on that day/night I would go to my next one.

So I didn’t play it for a good year and totally forgot about it as well, until Blade and I reconnected and we were talking about video games and I said “You’re like me, we both like Star Wars, and I use to play a game online called Star Wars: The Old Republic.” He wanted to see what it was about, so I reinstalled it, and started playing it then came late 2014, he said I have something for you. He had me go to the bank and put money into the account, and said , “Along with Second Life, I want you to have a Premium account to SWTOR as well.” So it was my early birthday gift that year. December 10, 2014 I finally became a premium member to SWTOR. I haven’t regretted it since. I have taken quite a few breaks from the game though and that is because again it’s lonely playing by oneself , and when I have thought I was in a good guild and what not, it turned out to not be the case for me. So I just opted to go on breaks. Plus last year I opted to go into other games and see what they are like. It’s good to have a variety of games to play so that you don’t get bored with one. I may one day go back to LOTR , but right now I have to subscriptions for STO (Star Trek Online) and SWTOR. I’m having fun in both, still looking for the places where I can fit in nicely. So yeah that is the new thing for me. Finding a guild and Fleet where I fit in and can just have fun playing the games I love. So this was just a random post about how I got my start into SWTOR and etc.

On the search yet again

So after a long hard thought and etc. last night I opted to leave the guild I was in , after a month I just couldn’t do it. It wasn’t for me. I want a causal friendly guild that wants to do all content, mostly Story stuff together, some PVP, and etc. My RP days in SWTOR have not been the greatest, and I really no longer care about RPing my character, yes I will create a back story for him, give out detailed information and such, but I won’t be RPing it to death like most want, or wanted me to do. I just want to do what most want to do now, have fun and be in a causal active friendly guild that does content, not get upset and rearrange a Stronghold when things start to look bleak. So I’m back to searching for the guild for me. Of course so many have told me to just make it, but that is where the problem lies for me. I don’t have friends in game that aren’t apart of a guild, and I honestly don’t know them all that well to ask for an invite to their guild.

I love being apart of something like I was, but in the long run when trying to rebuild something and everyone has a different vision of what it is they are looking for, it just doesn’t seem to fit right with anyone. Unlike the guild Trayvae helped Co-found, where everyone left ,and didn’t say a word, or was kicked by the GM because it wasn’t with people he wanted in the guild. So now I’m back on the search on the Ebon Hawk server to find my place in a good casual guild that just wants to have fun and play the game in all aspects. Whether it be Random Flashpoints, PVP, PVE stuff, or just overall goofing around. I am sure I will find my place one day in SWTOR but right now I’m also thinking of doing a let’s play video series for my YouTube channel as well, maybe by doing that I will find the people that want to create a fun , friendly guild where Alts will not be an issue. Only thing I ask if and when that day comes is to log into the alts once in a while. I know some will think of me being a tad picky, but in reality I’m not, I just want to find something to do in game with a lot of people and have fun doing so.

Even got myself some new guns for my healer as well. I am not deleting him, I plan on keeping him, and using him, just not sure where yet. Course each day I do log in and see what the CXP bonus for the day is with him, because before I jump into doing Star Fortresses and what not, I want the level 10 so when it’s  time to jump into the heroics of it , I can do that, plus I want to grind for more alliance crates by doing heroics and etc. I just want to have fun in the game, and while I do love some of the stories and what have you, I just crave more in game now. It’s the whole reason for me taking on different roles, and right now I just want to focus on being a healer, from a Merc down to a Sorc healer, sadly though there aren’t all that many specs for healing, when the time comes I plan on making a new trooper and making them into a healer, since I know that Mercs and Troopers are mirror classes, just like when I do the Operative Healer, I will be replaying through the Smuggler story as I know that is a Mirror class to Agent, and same with Sorc, I will make a healing Sage since I know that is yet another mirror class. I do love the fact that people all over our wonderful community takes the time to write guides for us that don’t know what most of what we’re doing.

 

I don’t want to do solo stuff anymore, yeah sometimes it’s fine, but let’s face it, in a game like SWTOR there is so many more options, and that is what I always thought the joy of being here was. I love the stories, but I also crave more. I don’t want to be that person that just keeps going on and on as a solo player. It gets boring, and lonely at times where I just log out, and go off into a solo style game like my driving simulators. Of course though if I can’t find a guild I like on the Ebon Hawk, I have other servers to try and find that perfect guild for me. The one that just lets us have fun within the game and not demand things. Role playing is not for everyone, and as I have stated in the past, and above. I am no longer really interested in it anymore. Oh well  the hunt will continue for a guild where I fit into it. Until then, happy gaming!!

What I’ve learned as a Merc Bodyguard!

So far as I’ve only played a Bounty Hunter Mercenary Bodyguard, I have learned one valuable lesson. It’s not as easy as most would think it would be. But I have learned to put heals above everything else, and I’m happy to do just that. Also It’s a little strange for me since I’ve only really played DPS and what not, but now I am understanding the need for heals, and how fun it can be. Course now I’m debating on which healing class should be next for me. Sorc healer, or Operative Healer, which both stories I love, but I am leaning more towards an Operative healer as I’ve read they are more mobile on their heals, and etc. Plus it’s nothing against those that prefer force users, I just find playing a non force user a little more exciting for me. Plus it’s a challenge. Of course though my ultimate plan is having a mirror class for each healer as well, so when the time comes for me to go over to Republic side I plan on making a Commando Healer, and once I have both Sorc and Operative healers on Empire side, I will have both Jedi Sage healer, and Smuggler healer, all because it will be nice to have both, of course though it will require me to buy more slots so I can do this. Over time though. Then eventually I want to try my hand at tanking in the future as well, but right now I plan on being responsible as a healer, and try to keep my teammates alive and well as much as I can. I am also working on a guide that I can use better to help me become a better healer, how I am doing that is by taking both the guides from Dulfy and from what I read on the official forums at SWTOR as well. I tend to combine the two into a guide were I can gather information and start prepping myself to gear up as I get close to level 70.

Course I am not sure about much of anything else at the moment as I tend to want to begin challenging myself. Of course if I could get our guild master to stop doing story mode of Black Talon for the social points, I could use my skills a lot better. Course he wants to run Story Mode and won’t dismiss that damn droid we get from it, which is annoying to me, because how am I suppose to learn how to be a better healer, when that damn droid is active all the time. He just doesn’t get it I don’t think. This is a new area for me, and I’m willing to try my best, course other than my guns, All my gear is Tier 1 230’s all augmented as well. I’m just a tad off on the numbers of Endurance, Power, and Critical. Not by much, but I think if I can get better barrels , mods, enhancements I will be set then. But as I look on the GTN for level 70 stuff, I can’t afford it at the moment as I just bought myself a new gear set I have been wanting for the last few months. It was the Galvanized Infantry armor set. Course I know once I get the cartel coins to unlock it account wide, that will be one set my healing trooper will be wearing. Course now I am working finding a new weapon for the hunter. So now that task is at hand and I am having issues finding one I like. I have the gear sets I like the best, but no new weapons. At least none that would go with the lighting tuning that is installed it. Oh well that is another thing. Enjoy.

PVP,Group stuff, Over all fun in SWTOR finally!!

So yesterday I did the daily bonus for Galactic Command, and it was PVP, so our GM, our newest recruit and a friend of theirs joined us in a group, and we Que for PVP, now mind you I always said in the past that I wouldn’t be doing anymore PVP, but well things change, and I changed. I am getting into group content now. On days that Flashpoints are the Bonus, we run Black Talon a lot for our GMs one alt, he’s trying to achieve a higher social level and I’m all for that, so we run solo mode with those Jesus (Or God) Droids as they are called, which kind of lets me do some DPS damage, not much but some. But I do cleanse us both a lot. So now I am also Level 71 or 72 in Galactic Command now as well, and I have all 7 pieces of gear, most dropped from the Crates, but the last two pieces I was able to get with Unassembled Components and Command Tokens, which were the Boots and Body Armor, now mind you I am not really into the look for the gear, so I let it sit out, while I use the outfit Designer, and I plan on showing off some of the outfits Krumar Ordo wears in game. I have really changed this year, and I’m enjoying this side of SWTOR finally.

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This is something new for me, and I’m really finally enjoying it. Just like I did not think I would honestly love playing a healer spec, but I do. It’s something different for me, and now it has me wondering about trying my hand at tanking one day in the future as well. As you can see in the image up at the very top of this post. I did amazingly well as a healer in PVP, which to my surprise earned me a few MVP’s. I did manage to make some kills, only had one death myself as they ganged up on me and our GM and friends couldn’t peel them off me fast enough. Man they really do not like healers in PVP, and I can’t much blame them either. We do have a thing for trying to keep everyone alive in the matches. But yeah I’ve finally found a place in SWTOR where I’m comfortable, able to be myself and have fun doing so. No one has an issue with me being a woman that plays male characters. That makes it all more worth it to be honest. I won’t lie and say I didn’t know how I would be taken once I told the truth. But I won’t deny the fact that I am a female that games, and I enjoy the male voice actors more so on some characters then others. We even had a few death matches were we won all because I kept or at least tried to keep everyone alive, and we were able to win the matches and that made them really proud of me. Course I also had Blade sitting here cheering me on as well, even though he was quiet until after the matches so he didn’t break my concentration on keeping us all alive.  He’s being super supportive in all this as well. He was afraid that I would drop subscription and uninstall the game, but now that he’s seeing me doing other things, he’s proud of me for keeping at it. I know there are a lot of bad people in the game, but there are a lot of good people as well. I’ve noticed as well that sometimes it is not really the big guilds that will fit a person, but ones that are rebuilding, and are small are usually the best ones, especially for someone like me who has anxiety disorders. While I still do things as a solo player as well, but mostly I’m craving for group content now. I finally understand what everyone was saying in the past about being a team player, while yes SWTOR has a lot of solo content mainly the personal stories and etc, but it’s nice to group up, and go kick some arses from time to time too.

So also while doing some solo things, I leveled up my Nexu who I call “Shock” to influence level 50 and man let me tell you, he is a walking tank now, course that is the spec I put him in, all because with me being a healer, I needed to keep him alive while taking on the baddies in solo stuff from time to time, so that left me with another idea to level up another Cartel Companion so I opted to start leveling up my Mawvorr and get him up to level 50 and him I decided to name “Shadowstalker” I am even developing a story on how I acquired these beasts. Which will make for an interesting read once I am doing developing it. I am over all having fun now whether it be solo or in a group. Course next up for me is to get Bowdaar as a companion, but I am going to see if I can get some help for it since Chomper likes to chomp on me a lot. Course it may be different now that I’m in 230 gear, well minus the mods in my guns, which I need to upgrade soon to purple 230’s.