On the search yet again

So after a long hard thought and etc. last night I opted to leave the guild I was in , after a month I just couldn’t do it. It wasn’t for me. I want a causal friendly guild that wants to do all content, mostly Story stuff together, some PVP, and etc. My RP days in SWTOR have not been the greatest, and I really no longer care about RPing my character, yes I will create a back story for him, give out detailed information and such, but I won’t be RPing it to death like most want, or wanted me to do. I just want to do what most want to do now, have fun and be in a causal active friendly guild that does content, not get upset and rearrange a Stronghold when things start to look bleak. So I’m back to searching for the guild for me. Of course so many have told me to just make it, but that is where the problem lies for me. I don’t have friends in game that aren’t apart of a guild, and I honestly don’t know them all that well to ask for an invite to their guild.

I love being apart of something like I was, but in the long run when trying to rebuild something and everyone has a different vision of what it is they are looking for, it just doesn’t seem to fit right with anyone. Unlike the guild Trayvae helped Co-found, where everyone left ,and didn’t say a word, or was kicked by the GM because it wasn’t with people he wanted in the guild. So now I’m back on the search on the Ebon Hawk server to find my place in a good casual guild that just wants to have fun and play the game in all aspects. Whether it be Random Flashpoints, PVP, PVE stuff, or just overall goofing around. I am sure I will find my place one day in SWTOR but right now I’m also thinking of doing a let’s play video series for my YouTube channel as well, maybe by doing that I will find the people that want to create a fun , friendly guild where Alts will not be an issue. Only thing I ask if and when that day comes is to log into the alts once in a while. I know some will think of me being a tad picky, but in reality I’m not, I just want to find something to do in game with a lot of people and have fun doing so.

Even got myself some new guns for my healer as well. I am not deleting him, I plan on keeping him, and using him, just not sure where yet. Course each day I do log in and see what the CXP bonus for the day is with him, because before I jump into doing Star Fortresses and what not, I want the level 10 so when it’s  time to jump into the heroics of it , I can do that, plus I want to grind for more alliance crates by doing heroics and etc. I just want to have fun in the game, and while I do love some of the stories and what have you, I just crave more in game now. It’s the whole reason for me taking on different roles, and right now I just want to focus on being a healer, from a Merc down to a Sorc healer, sadly though there aren’t all that many specs for healing, when the time comes I plan on making a new trooper and making them into a healer, since I know that Mercs and Troopers are mirror classes, just like when I do the Operative Healer, I will be replaying through the Smuggler story as I know that is a Mirror class to Agent, and same with Sorc, I will make a healing Sage since I know that is yet another mirror class. I do love the fact that people all over our wonderful community takes the time to write guides for us that don’t know what most of what we’re doing.


I don’t want to do solo stuff anymore, yeah sometimes it’s fine, but let’s face it, in a game like SWTOR there is so many more options, and that is what I always thought the joy of being here was. I love the stories, but I also crave more. I don’t want to be that person that just keeps going on and on as a solo player. It gets boring, and lonely at times where I just log out, and go off into a solo style game like my driving simulators. Of course though if I can’t find a guild I like on the Ebon Hawk, I have other servers to try and find that perfect guild for me. The one that just lets us have fun within the game and not demand things. Role playing is not for everyone, and as I have stated in the past, and above. I am no longer really interested in it anymore. Oh well  the hunt will continue for a guild where I fit into it. Until then, happy gaming!!

A Few Things

Challenges and Changes

So recently I took a challenge upon myself during my time on Trayvae in SWTOR, that challenge was to try and see if I could do my personal conquest for this week and well I did it actually. My very first conquest for personal gain in the guild. Even though the guild is pretty dormant because the GM hasn’t logged in for 21 days now. I’m not sure what I can and can’t do at the moment in the guild other than invite people. But I think this guild needs to change from a RP One over to a Casual guild with PVE, PVP , RP all the options should they want it. But with no word or no way to get intouch with the GM at the moment I don’t know how to move forward in this. For the moment I’m not worrying about that because if he doesn’t come back on before the 30 days is up. It’ll be transferred over to me since I’m a subscriber, and I log Trayvae in a lot too. Back to my personal challenge for myself. I also finally got my max in crafting this past week as well.

Not a bad little feat if I may say so myself. It’s not everyday I decide to challenge myself or what have you to something as minor as this. I am still unsure if I want to attempt to put Trayvae into PVP to get Pierce into my alliance. I just want to get that one and Bowdarrs missions out of my damn alliance windows. That blinking is driving me up the wall, I know I can’t do Eternal Championship because I keep trying and dying a lot more than I care for, so I just opted to stay out of it until I find a group, or this guild that I helped Co-found comes back to life somehow. Then again I haven’t tried to run anything in a long time either. Last time I tried to run a clan/guild of sorts was back in the late 90’s early 2000’s when I ran a Vampire Clan/ House what have you. Then it was easy because it was all text base turn style RP.

Little by little I am starting to do a lot more with SWTOR again and I’m enjoying it again for the first time in a long time. Course right now I have another new agent sitting at level 50, and I don’t know if I’m going to take her through KOTFE and KOTET just yet. I have 20 levels to go before she hits level 70, but of course I’m going back through and taking my smuggler through the rest of KOTFE, and trying to get a few others on Ebon Hawk to level 70. Right now that is my goal to have all 8 classes at level 70. I know what drives me to do this? Your guess is as good as mine. Personal achievement maybe, or just plain fun, or a little bit of both.

This is the new agent that I took up to level 50 before stopping for a bit and taking a sizable break with her. Of course though before finishing the agent story yet again I had to stop and laugh at a few things on Voss. Now mind you I had Blade sitting here with me when I decided to start stealthing around on Voss and sleep darting everything I could. Some times I often wonder about our minds when we are together because sometimes we just find anything and turn it perverted in nature. I guess that is what happens when you have a good relationship with someone even though at times I wanna choke him or tranqualize him like the Agent can do. Or hell even wish I could shoot lightening at him as well to shock some sense into him. But anyways while dealing with the Gormak Monstrosity I decided to be behind one of these things as I sleep darted him before attacking him and well………This next image will say the words for me……………..


Just don't ask what I was thinking about this image!!

A Perverted mind is a deadly thing at times


Not really sure about KotET

swtor-icon-silverNo I won’t post spoilers here, but I will say this though. I’m not sure if this was worth the wait in all honesty. I was excited last year when they talked about releasing KotFE and I played the first 9 chapters then there was the wait for a new chapter each month after the beginning of the year, but this one. 9 Chapters and that is it. After playing the 9 chapters on Early access, it took me roughly about 12 hours to go through 1-9 chapters. I didn’t do the usual exploring and what not, because I just wanted to see the end of it all. I’m not entirely sure I want to continue replaying all this for another 7 times. I’m not a hard core end gamer, so I’ll never have the best gear, and I suck at my rotations and with them changing classes and what not, it’s not impossible for me to learn a new one , but still it’s almost like they are forcing you to come out of your comfort zones. They claim to have listened to the players and decided to make all these changes but in all honesty I doubt they really listened to anyone in the gaming community about changes we wanted. I didn’t voice my opinion and as a matter of fact even though I remained subbed through the entire thing is honestly surprising for some because most dropped their subscription when nothing new came out, but I remained with the ability to play when I wanted to play. I think after the end of Chapter 16 in KotFE I rarely logged in at all. I started some of the DvL event they had over the summer, was 2 parts shy of completing the Eternal level, and knowing that I can’t beat the bosses in the Eternal Championship run. I just opted to not even finish it at all. Then there was the 200% XP Boost they gave, and I started to get one last character to max level of 65 before KotET and just stopped playing.

It was odd because I loved playing this game, and even though still I have some favorite classes that I may replay the older content, I just don’t have it in me to really slug through another 7 times for the same stuff. I have the free Outlander token and doubt I’ll even use it, if I do it will be to get the starter gear and toss it into my cargo hold unless it’s BoE then I’m just stuck with it on one character. I watched the live streams, and kept quiet while doing so because I just didn’t feel like I belong in the SWTOR community anymore. I’m not one that has ever done much of anything in SWTOR. I have no operation experience, I don’t really care much for PVP, I just don’t feel like I fit into the community anymore of SWTOR and hence why this blog has been really quiet as of late. I don’t have friends in the game, I don’t belong to any guilds because again I’ve been burnt on the whole guild thing. I have Legacies all across the US Servers where they are maxed on all except two servers that were once strictly PVP ones, and I think I have a few over in the European servers, but I doubt I’ll ever use them. I loved the story for KotFE and I do love the story for KotET but I just can’t see slugging through all the trash fighting again over and over for 7 more times. I will be going through it again just so Blade can see the first few chapters as I started it and he stayed up with me when early access hit so he could see the boss fights and what not , and I only did it on my Light side Jedi Knight who was apart of the whole DvL event. So I have to take a Dark side character through it, and well it will be harder because I’ll probably use my Agent Trayvae who is a sniper, but since snipers are more mobile now I don’t think I’ll have that much of a hard time. I just have to relearn his rotation and the abilities they added, and fix my hot-bars with the ones they have added.

To be quite honest I didn’t game a whole lot this past summer either. I picked up a few games on sale at Steam, played some 7 Days to die, worked on other things, and spent a lot of time watching YouTube videos and interacting in that community that SWTOR in general became a back burner, then I also started spending more time with Raven, and taking her out for walks, and doing things with her, all because well she’s my best friend, even though some don’t understand the relationship one can have with a dog. For me it’s awesome because she relieves a lot of my anxiety and stress, and gives me a ton of emotional support when days are darker then most for me. Plus I had to make sure I had time to give to Blade as well after he was done with work each day, and spent time with him, so that my gaming life basically took a back burner to everything. In the last few months even though I rarely said much of anything. I also had a lot to deal with my Mother going in for a few surgeries and making sure she was okay and all. Last month was a scary month for me because I had almost lost my mother during one of the surgeries, and well it opened up my eyes even more. I may have not the greatest relationship with her, but I am there for her, even though at times I have had to distance myself from the others in the family that feel they are better for her than her own daughter and they are no longer family in my eyes since their father passed away. Plus I have been worrying about my father as well, even though technically my parents are younger than most. My father is almost 62, he will be on Jan 8th, and my mother just hitting 59 on the 13th of November, they have health issues, and being their only child I worry about them both. They have been divorced since April of 1989, so I keep my share of insanity with both of them.

I may do a fully first thoughts post with spoilers later on after everyone has played Knights of the Eternal Throne, but for right now this is just my entire thought process and where I’ve been since KotFE ended, and I ended up on a long extended break from SWTOR in general. Thanks for reading if you do, and sharing it if you do. Just in general Thank you.


Part 2 to Choices Made ( Light side Only)

ChoicesThis is my 2nd part to the previous post about Light Side Only, Choices made post I did a while back. On that post I had done the initial 9 chapters that we were given back when they released KotFE at the beginning. Since Chapter 16 has been out for a little over a month now or so. I can fully go through the entire process of how I thought overall that this Story Arc was. But first I will go through the motions of what it was to truly go through KotFE without once taking Valkorions help. As tempting as it was in the beginning to kneel, and take his help through out the story I stayed true to being a light side Jedi and did not once take his help, and it did have a different impact in the game when his help is refused numerous times. I did not know that it would be an actual challenge to not take his help, but I did it, and I’m proud to say I did it. I was not entirely thrilled with being sandbagged with Companions that were really against what Darrien Ryder stood for. By that I mean with Kaliyo Djannis and Scorpio I was never a real fan of these two, and to be saddled with them in my alliance was a still a bit disappointing to say the least, but oh well.

Having gone through chapter 10 and getting Kaliyo was still a huge boring story , and I was not thrilled with her at the least bit. I just don’t know what it is. I thought the Agent’s companions could always been better, I mean you get her in the beginning on Hutta, and then Scorpio near the end for the Agent’s story. While those two just do not fit into the agents line up at all, they just don’t fit into the story all that well for KotFE either. I know a lot will disagree with me there, but I just can’t stand those two on any level. But none the less I took them, and of course we all know how Scorpio treats everyone. What I still don’t get is how Arcann doesn’t see that it wasn’t his fathers influence that made the outlander go back to Zakuul and attack. Hell to be honest I would have been happy to stay off Zakuul and away from him and his ego manic sister. Going into Chapter 11 I felt that Jorgan fit nicely in with the Jedi Knight and his alliance group so to speak. It was only cause of how I had played Darrien Ryder throughout the whole thing. He is a level 4 Light Side Knight. I have very little dark side in him, but over all I have played this character as a strictly light side only. It is what I wanted. Helping the people of Zakuul reminded Darrien that he was still in fact a Jedi Knight, and still someone that believed in doing good in the galaxy even if it was Zakuul that he was held prisoner in Carbonite all those years. He never once took it out on the people of Zakuul. His real fight was with Arcann alone. Not the people of Zakuul.

2016-09-17_09-32-110Yes this is how it was said in the beginning of Chapter 12: Visions in the Dark. I had refuse Valkorions help time and time again. Then I was forced to go and ask for it finally. It was a difficult decision to be made by Darrien. I could have stopped the chapter right there, and just never finished KotFE but I opted to go through to see what all he had to say and it was the same ole pissing and whining match with him. It was also during this time that I was thinking ahead of how I truly wanted to handle Arcann when the time came. That is basically what this chapter is, preparing you for the final showdown against the Angry son. Yes that is all Arcann ever was, an angry son that hated his father so much, along with his mother for leaving that he let the rage , and everything consume him. Now his sister Vaylin is a different story and one we will partake on in the next saga, but during my time through the last 6 chapters. I had learned a lot about Valkorion, and Arcann, it was not always like this.

2016-09-17_09-43-410If learn to read between the lines, it was Valkorion that was afraid of his son in retrospect. He knew what Arcann wanted, he also knew the outlander wanted him dead, has always wanted him dead, but has opted to go a different route since time and time again Darrien refused his power ( I refused his power), He doesn’t know what he wants, just that he’s watched the outlander become a far better person having broken the bonds of the Jedi Code, and never once adapting to the Sith Code. He truly has become something beyond Light and Dark. He even says so during his battle with Arcann, when that choice is picked. I didn’t get a screen shot of that one, and I regret that because it made a lot of sense for Darrien to say that over the others.

Chapters 13-14 were much of the same mundane recruitment missions, only difference was by this time it was a lot more fun to play them cause the one liners were funny, and it was easing up on the tension that was already around the outlander by the time Profit and Plunder was out, along with Mandalore’s Revenge. Getting Gualt and Vette was quite a pair to get in Chapter 13, all because they were a funny pair, and had a good time robbing the Treasury with the Outlanders help. It was a really good chapter and I had a lot of fun playing it again. I don’t even mind the damn Sky-troopers anymore. Hell I think I’ve come to like breaking them in half so much now. By the time I had hit Chapter 14 I was already so much more understanding how much harder it was to do the right thing that gave the Light side option over the dark side option, all because I wanted to see what it would be as a light side Jedi that never did anything bad, well minus those few times all because it was the right thing to do, and yet it still resulted in dark side choices. It was also nice to see that Shae remembered the Outlander from SoR as well. While they didn’t talk, it was more like a smash and grab for Gemini Prime, and we did it. I also opted to try and save those Mandos that were hunkered down into that area instead of letting them die, Torian didn’t like it, but then again it was the right thing to do. There was no honor in letting them die.

Chapters 15-16, well here we are down to the final two chapters, and final two thoughts. I knew something up with Scorpio from the very beginning, because of how she was brought in so early into KotFE, I just had this gut feeling all the way that she was going to betray the alliance, go after what she believed to be her children, and then pit Arcann and the Outlander into fighting on her terms. Just because her true end game was to try and kill them both. Scorpio was not a normal droid, and she voiced that over and over again and after a while you just wish you had a way to shut her up permanently. At least I know I did. I don’t understand why people loved Scorpio, then again I never understood why so many like companions that really didn’t fit in with certain classes. Then again everyone has their own opinions about certain companions and what not. While I thoroughly enjoyed the entire KotFE as a whole once all the chapters were released and I have played through it all the way from Chapter 1 to 16 now. It was a great story over all. It felt more like an RPG to me then an MMO, and that is what I loved the most about it, but also the build up to face Arcann, who I never once really wanted to kill after I got a little more information about his behavior. Instead I wanted to try and save him if he could.

By the time I hit Chapter 16, I kind of felt bad for the guy. Here he was trying so hard to get his father’s approval on so many things, and Valkorion just ignored him outright, even after he killed his own brother. His hatred had consumed him, and he let the outlander do what he could not, which was kill his father. But in retrospect Valkorion didn’t really die, he just became a force ghost or manifestation of a spirit in the force. While he opted to ignore Arcann is beyond me,but it really hit home on so many levels because here was this boy that was ignored by his father, he didn’t get a chance to see who his mother really was, had killed his own brother to gain his father’s attention. Had a sister that just well has no loyalties to him, not even an ounce of gratitude for him releasing her from her father’s control.   She also threw their brother in his face, and would taunt him over and over again, and by the time Arcann was defeated,he chose to save his mother and stand with her, over his own sister. It was then that his hatred was shattered, and the true man that Arcann should have been started to surface. I have opted to not shoot their shuttle down, as it was a futile effort in all. Arcann and Senya still have a story to tell, and a part to play in the future, but what it is I don’t know just yet. Will they help the Alliance take down Vaylin and the Eternal Throne once and for all, or will they do what so many others have done , shove a knife into the back of the Alliance and let them hang out to dry. I guess we shall wait and see.

Choices made in KotFE ( Light side version)

ChoicesSo I said in my last blog post that I would start a mini series about the choices I made in KotFE during the Light side Jedi Knight story I’ve recently done, and well I took the time off and away from it to gather my thoughts and decide how I plan on achieving this idea of mine. So far  I have only done the initial starting chapters we were given when Knights of the Fallen Empire had been kicked off. Before I dive into the beginning chapter called “The Hunt” I want to go back to SoR and Ziost, and say this. Being someone that has now sat down and followed through each of these stories. It’s been a refreshing scene to me to see this through the light side choices only that I am currently doing. At this moment it does not matter what I am feeling outside of the game when I start playing, but how I am feeling towards the game itself. Now while I still feel this event of Dark vs Light to be a small joke in some aspect, it is also refreshing to say the least to look at it in a different outlook so to speak.

Light Side Only Choices

Chapters 1-5

Now when I first arrived into Wild Space, and went aboard Darth Marrs’ Flagship. I was then starting to think of how I was going to go through this and make the right decisions based on Darrien being a Light side Jedi Knight. While my first thoughts were to go with all Dark side choices I fought against that grain and made the decisions that I felt would fit the light side Jedi Knight. I opted to save those in the landing bay being attacked by the Sky-troopers. I also choose to advise the others to hit the escape pods instead of just ramming the Flagship into the fleet like I have done so many other times in the past. This time around I just wanted to make a little difference in my decisions during this event. Also I was curious as well to see if my actions would change the outcome of the entire chapters I’ve played so far, and I have seen some differences already. I had also opted to deny Valkorion’s gift at every chance I could find as well. I will say this, as I have only done this once with not kneeling. It’s extremely different when you deny him time and time again. His reactions are very much different in what I’ve seen so far. In the beginning I had refused his offer to kneel and accept his power, then when you are fighting and there is a possibility that Lana may be killed, and then again when I fought with Heskal, and the one that truly got me, was the first time you battle Arcann on Asylum and he offers yet again and I refused.

2016-08-27_21-21-31This was the look of true disappointment on Valkorion when I refused his help yet again. I am truly impressed that there is a reaction from him when you don’t allow him to have any control over you at all. Like I said above, normally somewhere down the line I end up letting him help me, but this time around I plan on going through this without taking any of his power, even though I know he helped preserved my life in the beginning after I stuck my Saber through his chest. Still it’s just the sheer pleasure of denying him such pleasure in letting him have just a little bit of control over me. I intend on following through with this story all the way until the Battle of Odessen all because I want to see if the title “Choices matter” really does make a difference in the game.

Koth_VortenaWhile there is still so much love-hate about this guy in the game. I have grown quite fond of his quirks. Only cause I get what he is fighting for, and why he opposes Arcann so much now. While at times I do believe him to be a cry baby and what not when he doesn’t get what feels is right. I also admire him as well because he’s fighting for a good cause. Even if we all agree that a love/hate relationship with Koth is always a good thing. It all depends on the style your character is as well. So while some may hate him, I don’t entirely hate him, I just do find him annoying at times. I try not to be mean towards him, I mean after all he did kind of help Lana rescue me from being a carbonite tomb for all eternity. He could have said “No” to her but didn’t. All cause he wanted to see who this so called “Outlander” is and was about, and how one person could have so much faith in someone without really knowing them, and etc. So yeah I plan to keep Koth around for a long time in my Jedi Knight story to see how things progress with him as one of my top go too guys. So we’ll see how far I can tolerate him, even though I may not use him much as a companion outside of the story. It’s still a great way to keep him for crafting if anything.

ScorpioSWTORNow this one, I wish they didn’t saddle me with her all cause having played through the story once, I know what will happen with this damn annoying droid, and yes I will call her one to her face, but having said that. I just did not ever care for Scorpio when I first met her as my Agent’s last companion in his little make shift crew of rejects as some may have called it in the past. Still even if I didn’t know what she was going to do in KotFE I still would have liked the option to just say “NO” to her all cause I didn’t think she was ever a good fit into the Alliance and knowing she has secrets hiding and etc. She just does not mesh with a Light Side character at all.


2016-08-27_21-39-13After having been stabbed in the gut by Arcann because I refused Valkorions help, and I want to take them both out. I have had a lot of time to think about various things on how things are going in the light side event for this particular character of mine. Darrien Ryder is not the typical Jedi Knight, while through out his entire 3 chapters in the main story, he has never once flirted, or romanced anyone. Including Kira, who wanted to so bad, it wasn’t until I went into SoR that I had decided to romance anyone. It was then Lana that I decided I would choose to romance through SoR and then hopefully into KotFE as well. The letter she sends when one is denying Valkorion at every turn was really touching, and yet almost like she felt bad for breaking the “Outlander” out of his carbonite Prison so to speak too.

LanamailmessageSo in a nutshell here I am starting to see the choices I am making do change the story a little bit. I won’t know more until I go and finish chapters 10-16. Which by then I will know what it is to truly deny Valkorion at every turn and how much of an impact of staying the good guy does for the Jedi Knight at least. I hope whoever has read this, has had a good time reading it , and can well appreciate the thoughts and ideals I have been finding as I play through with an entirely different outlook on everything so far, over what I have done in the past.